Supernanny Sarcastic Advice Not So Super
It saddens me how easy it is to find examples of the popular parent advice industry treating kids like puppies who need to learn how to heel (instead of heal.) Consider the bestselling book ASK SUPERNANNY: WHAT EVERY PARENT WANTS TO KNOW by Jo Frost (Hyperion, 2006). In the December, 2006 edition of PEOPLE, Ms. Frost publishes an excerpt from her book with the headline: "How To Stop Your Child From Whining: Toddler-taming tips from TV's whip-'em-into-shape Supernanny."
I almost do not have to comment on the degrading tone of the headline. Its violent and unloving language speaks for itself. Our children do not need to be tamed; they need to be educated, which literally means "to lead out." They do not need to be whipped into shape, they need to be molded and guided with consistent and loving discipline.
Ms. Frost's advice about how to stop whining is to make fun of your child. She says, "Copy her whining tone of voice. Kids often collapse in giggles if you play their behavior back to them in an animated way." So the Supernanny's advice is to mock and ridicule. In my years as headmaster, if a teacher ever used this technique, he or she would be instantly let go. All children are sensitive, and they lack a sense of irony until they get much older. Sarcasm never, ever works; indeed, I feel it is a form of abuse until they develop a cognitive maturity, which usually doesn't happen until their teenage years. When I met with my faculty at the start of the school year, we would have a "spring training" of sorts where we practiced the fundamentals of sound teaching and child care. One of these fundamentals was "No sarcasm, ever!"
Again, if you meet a parenting expert on the road of life, avoid him or her. Please do not follow the supernanny's advice when it comes to whining. Instead, relate to your child as a fellow human being. Tell her what effect the whining has on you. Appeal to her innate compassion. Set up parameters of what you will and will not respond to and strictly follow them. Just don't make fun of your kids. Treat them as you would wish to be treated.
I almost do not have to comment on the degrading tone of the headline. Its violent and unloving language speaks for itself. Our children do not need to be tamed; they need to be educated, which literally means "to lead out." They do not need to be whipped into shape, they need to be molded and guided with consistent and loving discipline.
Ms. Frost's advice about how to stop whining is to make fun of your child. She says, "Copy her whining tone of voice. Kids often collapse in giggles if you play their behavior back to them in an animated way." So the Supernanny's advice is to mock and ridicule. In my years as headmaster, if a teacher ever used this technique, he or she would be instantly let go. All children are sensitive, and they lack a sense of irony until they get much older. Sarcasm never, ever works; indeed, I feel it is a form of abuse until they develop a cognitive maturity, which usually doesn't happen until their teenage years. When I met with my faculty at the start of the school year, we would have a "spring training" of sorts where we practiced the fundamentals of sound teaching and child care. One of these fundamentals was "No sarcasm, ever!"
Again, if you meet a parenting expert on the road of life, avoid him or her. Please do not follow the supernanny's advice when it comes to whining. Instead, relate to your child as a fellow human being. Tell her what effect the whining has on you. Appeal to her innate compassion. Set up parameters of what you will and will not respond to and strictly follow them. Just don't make fun of your kids. Treat them as you would wish to be treated.
posted by Dr. Keith Frome at 12:34 PM
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