The resident parenting expert on the Today Show, Dr. Ruth Peters, suggests that bribery is the most effective way to motivate your academically unmotivated student. Says Dr. Peters, "If your child is not internally motivated to complete homework and to study for tests, don't fret--that's normal . . . What to do? Well, I suggest bribing them to complete their responsibilities." Dr. Peters lists four types of acceptable bribes: money, special privileges, clothing, and outside or electronic play.
See below for a full account about why this advice is morally offensive. Once again, we witness a parenting "expert" reducing a child to a means rather than an end and once again we witness the modern parenting advice industry treating the parent-child interaction as a transaction rather than a relationship.
If you have taken the time to develop a full and deep and loving relationship with your child, you will be able to wrestle with the problem of lack of scholastic motivation in a more sophisticated way. You will already have achieved an emotional foothold from which to explore the best way to help him. Lack of motivation may be a sign of a learning difference or disability, social issues at school, poor teaching, anxiety, a lackluster curriculum, or, yes, sheer laziness. Don't start with a reward system as Dr. Peters suggests. Start with your child. Talk to him. Study your gut too. You are connected to him in the most mystical and profound of ways. Talk with his teachers, his coaches, his pediatrician and other adults in his life. Get as much information as you can, develop a hypothesis, get more information from a specialist as needed, and develop a remediation plan. Sometimes, it is best to let your child fail for a little while and stew in the consequences of his own making, as long as you monitor the situation and keep him safe and intervene immediately when needed.
In other words, there are no simple answers to this question, so you must begin by authentically relating to your child rather than sweeping the problem off the table with simple-minded techniques. If you blindly follow Dr. Peters and other parenting advice specialists, you will miss so much about your child, some of which will be critical for his future.
See below for a full account about why this advice is morally offensive. Once again, we witness a parenting "expert" reducing a child to a means rather than an end and once again we witness the modern parenting advice industry treating the parent-child interaction as a transaction rather than a relationship.
If you have taken the time to develop a full and deep and loving relationship with your child, you will be able to wrestle with the problem of lack of scholastic motivation in a more sophisticated way. You will already have achieved an emotional foothold from which to explore the best way to help him. Lack of motivation may be a sign of a learning difference or disability, social issues at school, poor teaching, anxiety, a lackluster curriculum, or, yes, sheer laziness. Don't start with a reward system as Dr. Peters suggests. Start with your child. Talk to him. Study your gut too. You are connected to him in the most mystical and profound of ways. Talk with his teachers, his coaches, his pediatrician and other adults in his life. Get as much information as you can, develop a hypothesis, get more information from a specialist as needed, and develop a remediation plan. Sometimes, it is best to let your child fail for a little while and stew in the consequences of his own making, as long as you monitor the situation and keep him safe and intervene immediately when needed.
In other words, there are no simple answers to this question, so you must begin by authentically relating to your child rather than sweeping the problem off the table with simple-minded techniques. If you blindly follow Dr. Peters and other parenting advice specialists, you will miss so much about your child, some of which will be critical for his future.
posted by Dr. Keith Frome at 11:42 AM
